Sunday, June 25, 2017

Global Warming to cause Global Cooling to cause Global famine to cause Global War to cause Cannabalism to cause Resurgence of Christianity and New World Order

That's right!  Climatologists, meteorologists, historians, tarot card readers, and George Herbert Walker Bush have collaborated and arrived at this stunning new prediction!  Earth will heat up, cloud over, cool down, freeze, devastate agriculture, and humans will be fighting each other for every last morsel of food before descending to eating each other and then finding renewed Faith and beginning a One-Nation global government and a New World Order!

They could not fully agree on this prediction , however, until consulting with Bill Nye and a local high school science club.  The theory was solidified when ex- President Bush saw it in a dream....the same dream where he had defeated former President Bill Clinton in a savage knife-wielding battle for  Hillary in the end-of-days...

Confident in their prediction, they have presented these theorized facts to the UNFCCC  and are desperately pleading with the global community to take action to prevent these inevitable course of events!   Their solution:  to jettison as much of the worlds ocean water to the planet Mars as quickly as possible,   whatever the cost,  to stave off the cooling action of the clouds formed by the heated waters of the world's oceans.  And to summon advice from the prophetic dreams of  former President George Herbert Walker Bush. Elon Musk has volunteered to head-up the vital water-transport-to-Mars operation.

Once again,  the science community has come together with a much needed and viable solution to prevent an otherwise inevitable cataclysmic and apocalyptic course of events.

Sunday, June 4, 2017

Pocket Brain Will Shrink Head Size!

Could Google, the world’s largest search engine, be causing our memory banks to atrophy? Maybe, say four Columbia University researchers, who believe Google’s instant-retrieval search mechanics could be training our brains to jettison information we’re sure of quickly finding again with a few taps on a keyboard.
“The Internet has become a primary form of external or transactive memory, where information is stored collectively outside ourselves.” Retrieving a memory has become as simple as reaching into your pocket for your cellphone. Pocket Brain.
Long term reliance on this source may produce a condition similar to Alzheimer's disease. As symptoms worsen over time, the disease will progress through 3 stages. In the early stage, you may notice some mild memory loss, but, as the disease progresses to the moderate and severe stages, you may notice new symptoms appear or existing ones worsen.
When it has progressed to the severe stage, humans may lose the ability to perform daily activities, like carrying on a conversation or even being aware of their surroundings.
Scientists predict that as the human brain continues to atrophy with reliance on personal devices for memory retrieval, and from the lack of social interaction..... head sizes will shrink by one-half by the year 2070.